mr. mittens (akmed) wrote,
mr. mittens

HAL-Serial killer or fuel efficient, economy eurotrash car?

so poor HAL has taken a beating the last few weeks. first some witch searching for gum in her purse smacked its ass on 93 during parking lot style rush hour traffic. i'm surprised i didn't flat out smack the dolt across the puss as it was the day i had to pick up sylvia from the vet after her gaping wound incident- i was in a prime mood for a throw down. then i was driving quasi-indigenous and aryan whores home from allegedly 'arabian nights'( fucking dead can dance does not goddamn count as ' arabian' nor do fucking songs with the words arab or arabian in them.heathen honkies) when thanks to the lazy ball sniffers of the somerville highway department, i smacked an unmarked raised manhole cover and flattened a tire. would it be to troublesome to crack open a can of orange paint, fuck faces? i have to get the one tire repaired and stow away the jack again so i was forced to clean out the back.


here is what i found- and don't tell me this doesn't sound like a serial killer's death kit:

a large dirt shovel.
3 pairs of heavy duty work gloves.
2 rolls of duct tape and 2 roles of carton tape.
trash bags. a lot of trash bags.
3 different varieties of rope including poly blend and sisel.
a startling array of household and car cleansers and several varities of laundry detergent and bleach.
2 tire irons.
several knives.
3 large screw drivers.
a portable vacuum.
a studded belt.

poor HAL has been driven to the brink of the unthinkable. but she's a good car. i know she's a good car....
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