mr. mittens (akmed) wrote,
mr. mittens

clap on clap off

although my mother strongly suggested that i not be unkind to the... retarded... why, oh why do rhythmically challenged honkies insist on clapping along to music in a dance club- a club not occupied by toddlers listening to barney cds and learning to touch their toes?

if you're not mentally challenged, what the fuck is your problem? you are neither funny, nor attractive and you can't dance. nothing recommends you to anything but being forced into a burqua and having your ass kicked by people who can dance and aren't so self absorbed and stupid as to think people are paying money to dance along to your high school pep squad antics.

i am all for silliness and joy and sometimes being a fool , however , not when it completely infringes on other people and their enjoyment of their entertainment dollars. it's harder to dance- get this- when someone is clapping at odds to the beat of the song that's playing. yes ,i know this is a revelation akin to finding out you're adopted or that there is pig anus in hot dogs but you are SUPPOSE to find the beat and that directs your feet. alright, i'll slow down for you- the bass line and drum beats of a song determine how you dance to it, traditionally, not the sounds in your head that are, i assure you, not heard by the rest of us.

for once on a saturday night chris appeared to have a burr in his bonnet- he played wire for fook's sake! and 'the head on the wall' from the last great cure album- a goth classic that may, indeed, have clapping in it but that clapping ,you will note, is ON THE BEAT unlike your drunken hand jive which was akin to a deaf sea lion flapping it's flippers around aimlessly at a harassing fly. you couldn't find the beat with ray charles helping you with a gun to your head.

this is goth music ok- chris went on a goth tear because he's probably sick of stupid asshole somerville white trash asking for' oh mickey' and clapping along to it. man ray has got to get out of that fucking neighborhood which appears to be filled to the brim with just the wrong element- stupid soulless white people who are socially challenged .either that or we cut your hands off for having offended the royal we.

goth music and a lot of 80s music has some importance for some of us that you are denigrating. i don't see why you come to an 80s night if you have no respect for the music that was very relevant and significant to those if us who were young and clubbing at the time it was created ( and, yes ,i know the music on saturdays gets tedious but that's primarily because that's what emo trash thinks 80s music is- what was on mtv when their parents were making the biggest mistake of their life- birthing future closet cases with twee tastes and an affinity for their sister's clothing.) clearly you have no respect for other people who also paid to come and dance. we are not there to give you attention.perhaps you were weaned too early, although it's apparent you're old enough to know better, unlike the rest of the clueless tots there who, at least, were dancing and not pretending to jitterbug with their 2 left feet by stomping on everyone else when, of course, not having to stop and clap because dancing and clapping at the same time, one would suppose, is way beyond your limited capabilities.

of course Vico and i were more than thrilled with the music, despite Homo and the Handjive 5, because we needed it desperately and when chris played 'c'est comme ca' because V asked, i think i nearly passed out with joy. i have not heard that song since the late 80s in a club and to be able to dance to it- unbelievable. that's what going out should be about- that magical song you HAVE to dance to because it reminds you of this or that or just moves you. i need that back and no one has been providing it and pissants who ruin the experience of something so essential and so special and lost to us deserves, at the very least,death by being live wired to one of those Clapper devices and clapped into the next world.

i actually recall this same group of "mal vivants" being completely obnoxious several weeks ago, although the uninspired patty cake trip is relatively new accessory to their bag of 'mommy mommy look at me' tricks. if you dance like THAT you probably fuck like a mormon in the dark through a hole in a sheet-good for nothing. consider a career as a door stop. drill a hole in a bathroom stall door because there's no way you're capable of giving another human pleasure- might as well direct your attentions to the inanimate objects you have so much in common with.

but he actually played les rita mitsouko followed by stigmata martyr and then siouxsie, 'spellbound'. fucking perfect despite our racially ' hindered' annoyances who nearly ruined the groove with their artless flailing about. but that music is too good, too powerful for you to be able to stop. next time he plays ' too drunk to fuck' you are going ..


because the Lord told me you should...

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