mr. mittens (akmed) wrote,
mr. mittens


MA General Laws.

"Chapter 272: Section 33 Exhibition of deformities

  Section 33. Whoever exhibits for hire an albino person, a minor or mentally ill person who is deformed or a person who has an appearance of deformity produced by artificial means shall be punished by a fine of not more than five hundred dollars."

well, what the fuck am i going to do with my albino now? there it is- the man always sticking to you. my hermaphrodite isn't going to be happy. there goes that lucrative second income.

i suppose it's quite alright if the mentally and psychologically deformed want to exhibit themselves...or man ray wouldn't be open.

"Chapter 272: Section 21 Instruments or other articles for self-abuse, prevention of conception or abortion, in general

  Section 21. Except as provided in section twenty-one A, whoever sells, lends, gives away, exhibits, or offers to sell, lend or give away an instrument or other article intended to be used for self-abuse, or any drug, medicine, instrument or article whatever for the prevention of conception or for causing unlawful abortion, or advertises the same, or writes, prints, or causes to be written or printed a card, circular, book, pamphlet, advertisement or notice of any kind stating when, where, how, of whom or by what means such article can be purchased or obtained, or manufactures or makes any such article shall be punished by imprisonment in the state prison for not more than five years or in jail or the house of correction for not more than two and one half years or by a fine of not less than one hundred nor more than one thousand dollars."

it all started when i was born with two hands and apposable thumbs.. it's all mommies fault.... these horrible instruments of self abuse! but if i cut them off i then couldn't exhibit myself as a deformed hermaphrodite albino ... or could i? i may need a lawyer...interpertation seems to be 99 % of the law.

"Chapter 272: Section 34 Crime against nature

  Section 34. Whoever commits the abominable and detestable crime against nature, either with mankind or with a beast, shall be punished by imprisonment in the state prison for not more than twenty years."

when they say it like that it sounds so HOT...nearly unavoidable.

...but not to worry i'm not tempted to sin by mankind at all and as for the cats- i bought them, i feed them -i'll pet them any way i want.

the irony is, of course , that it's not as if one would ever encounter crimes against nature with man and beast behind bars for 20 years.

in the words of edna from 'reform school girls '," Pipe the new fish!!!!"

"Chapter 272: Section 35 Unnatural and lascivious acts

  Section 35. Whoever commits any unnatural and lascivious act with another person shall be punished by a fine of not less than one hundred nor more than one thousand dollars or by imprisonment in the state prison for not more than five years or in jail or the house of correction for not more than two and one half years."

and they say we're puritans here in new england. lord knows they certainly got worked into a lather coming up with these crimes which seems to indicate there was a dire need to control a veritable sodom and gommorrah.

but drive off a bridge drunk and kill a woman and you're elected senator in perpetuity . hey, but we don't take to unnatural acts with your albino in public or preventing disease and unwanted pregnancy through education- we're christian people in this state.

"Chapter 272: Section 36 Blasphemy

  Section 36. Whoever wilfully blasphemes the holy name of God by denying, cursing or contumeliously reproaching God, his creation, government or final judging of the world, or by cursing or contumeliously reproaching Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, or by cursing or contumeliously reproaching or exposing to contempt and ridicule, the holy word of God contained in the holy scriptures shall be punished by imprisonment in jail for not more than one year or by a fine of not more than three hundred dollars, and may also be bound to good behavior."

god created government? didn't he fuck up enough with all those lascivious beasts, albinos and deformed circus acts? clearly some of us should have quit while we were behind.

the holy scriptures recommend owning slaves, religious genocide,complete contempt for females- goddamn it!, who would be against any of those things? does that mean, in truth, we also can't round the cornors of our heads and have to fuck through a hole in a sheet? just when i was thinking what a flesh pot this state really is- teaming with unnatural lasciviousness and hot and available beasts- the fucking Holy Goat has to stick his chastity belt and cloven hoof into the works.

"Chapter 272: Section 53 Penalty for certain offenses

  Section 53. Common night walkers, common street walkers, both male and female, common railers and brawlers, persons who with offensive and disorderly acts or language accost or annoy persons of the opposite sex, lewd, wanton and lascivious persons in speech or behavior, idle and disorderly persons, disturbers of the peace, keepers of noisy and disorderly houses, and persons guilty of indecent exposure may be punished by imprisonment in a jail or house of correction for not more than six months, or by a fine of not more than two hundred dollars, or by both such fine and imprisonment."

yes, but doing said same, therefore, to the same sex is legal. see, we are "the bay state/ the gay state". now if only i could find someone of my same sex ,i could accost them with nasty talk about holes in sheets - all without criminal repercussions.

"Chapter 272: Section 86 Stabling horses or mules on second or higher floors, in places other than cities

  Section 86. No person shall stable a horse or mule on the second or any higher floor of any building, unless there are two means of exit therefrom, at opposite ends of the building, to the main or street floor, unless such building is equipped with an automatic sprinkler system. This section shall not apply to cities."

fortunately, persia's camel is stabled in the basement. i will consider it my civic duty to report any mules hanging about above the first floor of any dwelling . do jackasses count?- i think a few live upstairs from me.

" ' unless such building is equipped with an automatic sprinkler system. This section shall not apply to cities.' "-????? i suppose this wouldn't preclude a 3rd floor stable full of mules in downtown boston hiring Great White to perform ...

how far we've come from laws prohibiting ' malicious mischief on the Lord's Day done to a fruit tree...".. oh, wait ,that's still on the code book...

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