bachelorette #4: harriot brown
breed: tabby-esque calico
age: don't ask/dont tell
occupation: freaky ass bitch
so, honestly, i dont think i can marry miss brown. sure she has oodles of what one might call ' personality' ,on a good day , however she's just too fucking freaky for me. cat and crack, as whitney houston will tell you, is wack.
it's impossible to smack this super freak's ass as much as she craves it. she's obsessed with arm pits and red haired girls. oh yes she's the kind you dont take home to mother. on the more positive side, the mechanically inclined and very intelligent miss h can open closed doors and drag 25 pound bags of cat food out of shut cupboards and open them.
although i wont ask her to marry me , i can say that harriot brown is a devoted and affectionate friend who, like most humans who arent half as sweet, needs firm boundaries.
so .. what can brown do for you today ? i know what you can do for her....spank spank...