August 3rd, 2012

"look like a person but is a witch"

it is a scientific fact that reading leads to witchcraft and lesbianism. fact.


and since we all, therefore, for our own safety and purity, need to be able to identify witches(now that they've moved beyond appearing like withered old crones with frightening medieval skin diseases and are all smooth of skin and sexy), i was more than morally and chastely titillated to find this amid the tattered and scattered bits post-trash day:


i'm just happy to see that the schools are still teaching something useful to children rather than post renaissance, post-printing press brainwashing like learning the rudiments of using the english language or learning how to count. believing that women evolved from the rib of a man and learning how to avoid witches are the building blocks of any well rounded education.

at any age it is still a treat to learn something new each day-like the fact that one can tell a witch because, instead of an ugly, loud beach hat, she'll be wearing a tasteful yet unostentatious string of pearls.

and clearly blogging is satan's way of distracting me from feeding the cats...

Satan's way of distracting you from making dinner