July 27th, 2010

yapping bitch blues

dear neighbor,

it's clear you leave your dog home alone locked in a room while you are at work. it appeared you left it like that all day, all night sunday through monday morning. you are an asshole.it screeched and yowled without let up and all through the one night it was nice enough not to have the a/c on to sleep. this all started a week ago so the dog seems a new acquisition. it is not like a cat. you can't leave it alone indefinitely. take it to doggy day care, move to the suburbs where it can go out in a yard or admit you are a selfish fuck who is in no way prepared to take care of an animal that requires so much attention and training and trade it in for something more your speed- like a potted plant.

i am torn between reporting you, complaining about the noise- but i don't want it to be taken out on the dog because you are a tool. being your pet must be punishment enough. the rest of us need to sleep without the sad sounds of your neglected pooch every morning and night. i find it most disturbing that i know and have seen all of the dogs in the neighborhood but haven't seen yours once. what the fuck are you doing with the poor thing? because one thing is for sure , you are not walking it.

even my cats feel bad for your dog.

you know you want it, princess

if you are wondering what cake i want for my birthday, what cake i want for just waking up on any given day even because cake is cake is cake, betty crocker has the answer:

or if it's to humid for the making of billowy soft clouds of whipped egg whites i suggest:

i am not so hot for the rock painting. rock painting?

the 70s were a primitive time.