March 22nd, 2006


the quiet joys of brotherhood

i'm not saying this post is about a mythical catering company called Eat Me Wet.

no, not at all.

a very long time ago i worked for a catering company. it was run by a vile fag who used to fire other fags who he thought had AIDS or who knew too much about him. since all the employees were annoying south end fags( a famous gay cartoon was scripted in the cafe at the time-if that isn't fucking gross enough) and fawning fag hags who couldn't land themselves real men of their own, everyone knew way too much about each other . personally, i think he himself had AIDS and could only deal with it by punishing others who he suspected were infected .

silence equals death, don't you know.

the manager of the catering staff was that most pathetic and evil of the lord's creatures- a really ,really unattractive gay man who didn't have a big dick nor a lot of money and possessed no personality to make up for these deficiencies. he hated women and when he was promoted to the position, he fired all the female managers and hardly ever called in to work any of the female waiters. he got away with this even though he was blatant about his ugly little actions. he still runs this catering staff, which split off from the company and is used to this day by the company i now work for, a company which was started by a woman.

mr.AIDS assassin eventually lost control of the catering company itself when he went into business with a truly heinous cock sucker who turned the business upside down, slashed everyone's hours except for the fawning fag hags and tried to route around for more of the HIV positive to axe. he fired mr mittens and, to this day, i do not know why . it may be because we all knew he liked to sneak around back alleys at night to peep on other men having sex. i'm not sure why he may have thought anyone in all the south end would have found this strange when, in fact, that's what everyone in the south end likes to do any night of the week.

i came to work somewhere else and ,wouldn't you know it, they do not own a catering company that's not really called Eat Me Wet.

i work quite a lot. and i am not a slouch. i try to do my best and i will not leave until everything is done. certainly i make mistakes however, if i catch them i do not let them leave the bakery.

the food industry is a pretty stress filled and is thus stuffed to the gills with very very angry people who tend to drink a lot and have hair trigger tempers with their coworkers. this is partly because, especially with really, really wealthy clients, who may be the biggest ass wipes on the planet, 'executive chefs' are turned into lowly serfs who cannot show any signs of uppityness or displeasure. the hours suck too and the environments tend to get very cut throat. so they slap their sous chefs around( literally), scream at the dishwashers , and stab their peers in the back to assuage their egos and make themselves look important and powerful .

at work , there are problems. when there are problems you try to find solutions especially under time constraints. that is unless you're rage filled and insane and insecure- then there are opportunities for you to yell, scream, ' go straight to the top' with someone else's perceived malfeasance and to lay blame as pointedly and as often as possible. this way, the problem is never solved but now we all know who exactly is to blame and who is the champion ass lick who ferreted out the evil slacker.

can i just say- IT'S ONLY A FUCKING COOKIE, you stupid fucking cunt. it's not your arm or leg that's been blown off. it's not that baby you bought from asia that's been kidnapped. ( although i guess i should be grateful that you purchased progeny and didn't breed yourself as i heard some mental illnesses are hereditary.)it is a fucking cookie. if you do not like my ugly fucking cookies , do not order them . let's face it, even though i have been making 'your' company's cookies for nearly 10 years, now that you're in charge( SNORT! we all laugh about that. bitch, everyone knows you don't know what the fuck you're doing.) you have never liked any of my cookies, rejecting every set of them. buy them somewhere else and take your little rabid Puppy the fuck with you.