July 29th, 2005

mice gone wild on the mothership

one day i'll have human emotions. one day i will react. one day i'll have human emotions and i will react...

who am i fooling? if it hasnt happened by now...

what were my parents fucking thinking? when robots mate you get ..other robots.when did they fall to earth ? what fucking planet did they come from? press the eject because i am totally thinking of going all HAL on this shit if the mommy robot does not stop using the ' i will die soon so you better..." program.

for about a year ive been thinking he was recalled. how typical of his asshole french frog family not to tell me. she probably knows and wont tell me. wire it for complete alienation and we'll be on our way.

i know but i cant feel.

don't you fucking look at me

" i want you...to look down and to the left"

tempting the fates in daring to bitch about jello and storm fucking troopers ( who on cue the next night appeared) now all my goggle bashing has been visited on me. right now i can't see and i cant go outside where i am completely blinded by the sun light. im typing this with the font big enough for stevie wonder to goddamn see it. and all because one of those dudes from front 424 gave me my eye exam.

and ..whoa..he had on a long tan skirt. hey, whatever-im in no position to judge something like that.

so now you got to the optomotrist and its like a night at the cybergaygoth club. there's barely any light in the room(i hadnt had sleep or coffee and s/he took away my glasses so i spent the time smacking into things)bad ambient new age music for old lady hippies was playing( until they switched it to motherfucking NPR which nearly sent me screaming out of the office but i couldnt see so finding the door was problematic), the doctor is wearing a massive set of industrial goggles with all sorts of secret ray gun like attachments and instead of the poofy glaucoma machine they now ram a blue glo-stick into your eyeballs ( and they think its better than the poof machine but im certain it was just fetish day at the office.)

i walked home with my eyes shut, wincing and dripping tears and dilation drops. my pupils were the size of giant marbles. people were pulling their kids away from me on the sidewalk. i could see better with my glasses off. that was hours ago and im still having problems.

i have astigmatism that has never been corrected. the last doctor i had was near my work so now that we're moving i found a new one near here. in the 5 years i went to the old doctor i never once had an eye exam by the actual person who's name was on the shingle. even the secretery used to do part of the exam. and it cost about the fucking same. do not use these places- the mall like optomotrist /eyeware chains. for half a decade i could have been seeing better and wasnt because of these tools.it's worth the money to go to an independent practice then if you want buy the contacts or glasses cheaper elsewhere. you were going to spend the money on moonboots, extensions or chronic anyway. spend it on something important.

and dont you fucking look at me. im not an addict and now i know i dont have glaucoma.