November 20th, 2004

lounge act

(p.) mohammad very thoughtfully made a jelly sandwhich under no protest

first, i'd like to say hello to all my ethnic space feline voices in the corner- how are you girls all doing?

second, as a public service announcement for my own sanity- i was never going to even consider fucking any of those people. ever. not for a nanosecond did it cross my mind . people assume way too much. i am through being nice to people too self absorbed and shallow and screwed up to appreciate it and not use it as a tool to prop up their own hemorrhaging sense of self- worth . if you can only gauge your worth by who you PERCEIVE wants to fuck you, you're a victim. victims are only sexy to fascists and serial murderers. there's no sense fucking someone who has given up their power-it's beating the proverbial dead horse.

i was so sick of being a screen for people too project all over. back at you- i'm bum rushing your jive ass show.

and then there are those who just want to control others and see themselves as the center of everyone's universe. frankly, having been raised by two extremely narcissistic people, i never have time for people like that.

do more people than is statistically known have tourette's syndrome and , if so, why does it come out around me? blurting out ,stuttering out what they perceive my gender to be, definitively( and in the narrowest of constructs, i might add) , and what my sexual orientation is at random may serve to alleviate some deep seated psychological disturbance they have, but it just fucking annoys me. if you want to ask something, pony up some balls and ask it. talking among yourselves, blogging among yourselves concerning your demands about what other people's genders should be is an act of negation that your mere curiosity is not warrant enough to dismiss as harmless . i should say, however, for the most part , i have no comment- particularly not to people whose hidebound definitions of gender, in their very inflexiblity, show no knowledge of biology, pagan spirituality and, oh, so many things-life itself -but mainly, simply the sheer weight of medical facts.

what you think i am , what you think i ought to be says far more about you than it does about me. you don't know shit about me and that's the way it ought to be considering the profound lack of respect this situation shows. that and profound ignorance. whatever you think you know about gender ,i can rightly say you don't know a fucking thing- jump back on the karmic wheel for another spin because you ain't getting it this time around.

we're here to become what we ought to be- not to try and make over/ take over what others are. most people would be better off concentrating on their own development than wasting their energy trying to stage manage the very being of others- usually to satisfy their own desires or to affirm their own sense of comfort. the unfortunate part of this is that there are plenty of people too weak in their sense of self who are more than willing to become what other people want- projections of the desires, the fears, the selfish needs of others. this is the most fruitless of paths- a circular loop that mirrors the never ending vicious destruction and hate the characterizes planet earth.

"is this girl verses boy with different symbols?"

being born is the only real power you'll ever be given. the only legitamate power you'll ever wield is over yourself. don't give it away and, better yet ,stop inflicting it on others. i am what She made me. and no one else has any say whatsoever in the matter.

space is the place. be there now.
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