March 15th, 2004

Are We Not Men?

I've decided that since the flood gates are now slightly ajar for the long awaited, deperately needed end to western judeochristian society, it is my moral obligation, in light of the fact that god may or may not have created adam & steve, to prove that She did indeed create mr.mittens & Miss Kitty.

the end is near and it's about fucking time.

therefore, after consultation, via dreamtime, with the delphic oracle , a burning bush, and freya's black chariot carrying cats with wings, i have decided to to marry one of my ' pets'.

i'm on a mission from god .

i will make seperate enteries detailing the various stats and charms of each bachelorette. after due considerations, i will take the most likely candidate, in a field, i assure you , that is crammed with lovely and accomplished debutants feline, down to cambridge city hall and demand that whatever woo woo we are the world we are the rainbow children Citizen in all natural fiber clothing does The Right Thing and marries us.

The reception will be catered by Purina, Nine Lives and Legal Seafood . the happy couple will be registered at Petco. the honeymoon will be to the site of the ancient city of Bubastis- home of the mother of all creation-Bast. an open bar will be enjoyed by all throughout.

hopefully martha will stay out of lesbian charm school long enough to help plan the wedding.

hot on the tail of love


bachelorette number 1 : Miss "Al"-icita
breed: african wildcat crossed with the mackeral Tabby
age: a lady never tells and you shouldn't ask, bitch.
occupation: general naughtiness . member of the REALNESS black panther party- power to the pussies, bitch.

when not bitch slapping turkish angoras or laying out beartraps for the springtime flock of annoying honkies who rollerblade and push their overladen brat mobiles through HER neighborhood, miss al likes to nap .

this minx like honey enjoys flirting with the ladies, showing off her leopard spotted tummy and radical feline centered politics. when i asked if she'd consider marrying me she said:

"hey clean my toes, bitch, there's angora fur trapped there".

am i lion enough to trap and tame this beguiling mix of attila the hun, angela davis, and elsa the lioness?

christ , is anyone?