July 13th, 2003


"lynn lynn lynn city of sin...

... you never go out the way you came in."

well it's almost the doorway to salem so i drove home that way instead of the highway.

i think i have to find daddy dearest before he dies , although i'm not entirely sure i want to see him being as he is a nonentity at this point. it's been so long and i was so young when he went back to france. clearly i dont know him. i hate being linked eternally to people i do not know or perhaps shouldnt know.

im not sure it's such a good idea but more of something that has to happen.

i seem linked to lynn which is a frightening though i perhaps ought not repeat in public- but i knew eaxctly where i was driving. i recognized the path- here we used to buy junk, here i dont know why but i know it.. etc. that particular brand of north shore white biker trash i know oh so well.

perhaps i think i have ' evolved' but really you always feel your breeding and you always can tell your kind- whether you like it or not. i started thinking in french a little again - perhaps im senile-or just remembering what ive chosen to forget for so long.