" the eye now sees what the tree knows"
it's also my chance to begin my chosen olympic event-bitching about real goth and being a real pagan - both old skool - and both related, intimately. none of this ebm fluff neurotica elektronica or wiccan naked furry over weight wife swapper filthy hippy new age puffery.
so- goth. human sexual response is more goth than you can imagine, raised on faux straight white male aryan disco. it's about their darkness- they're like a girl group from the 60s, only with ' men' singing about anal sex( they valiantly sang ' butt fuck' on tv and got spanked for it), androgyny, and anne freakin' frank. that alone constitutes the 3 A's of goth/alternative being anal sex( you're fucking gay), androgyny( you're fucking gay and more than ' just like' women's clothing) and, ok, not really anne frank but the aryans who killed anne frank( you just can't get enough of that blonde blue eyed over controlled rigid teutonic tyranny s/m schtick which also means you're fucking gay). few truly have that innate scanner darkly ability and style and sensibility without it seeming a hot topic inspired drag window dressing. some of us were born to the dark side and it's our destiny to learn from it and accept it or be destroyed by it even before it stamps us out of existence. black on the outside and black on the inside- with me what you see is exactly what you get. i think it's an indication of how little people want to understand death and darkness that this does not at all convey how funny i can be and how particularly amusing i am to go out go go dancing with. come to the dark side- we always party like its 1999.
" you cause me to see the darkness of your making."
so- pine cones and pagans. pagans are not witches, although many of them call themselves witches( if you're wondering and absolutely need to know feel free to think of me as a bad witch, thank you ) which is somewhat akin to black people who call themselves niggers. it's the slave masters term for the oppressed and despised to ensure degradation and the destruction of any self determination, rebellion and autonomy. the term witch connotes a whole slew of christian projections on those who worshipped another god, a goddess. what they didn't condemn to the funeral pyre, murdering with as much relish as they lavished on the people of their alleged saviour, the jews, they took for themselves, co-opted- thus the virgin goddess ' who is unto herself'( read: she doesn't need the male to create life) became mary, a whole slew of old gods and goddesses became saints and pine cones, an ancient ever green pagan symbol across the globe, appears all over the fucking vatican- on wands, in squares, i am surprise Sister Mary Infallible doesn't wear one in her hair:
a large variety of whacked out protestants think roman catholicism is really paganism in pretty much a see through teddie with jesus as the beard so generations of european honkie alpha males can stomach the fact that god is female and has no need of them and their somewhat less than magical ' pine cones'.
i do not worship satan or demons- all of which are christian creations stolen from the jews who pilfered it half assedly and with little understanding from the persians who were already patriarchal fuck ups at the time. i do not sacrifice animals, christian babies( what goddess wants a christian baby? none of them.... christians don't even want christian babies, really ,or they wouldn't treat those who give birth so miserably and they wouldn't do such cruel and damaging things to their offspring) and since i do not believe in transubstantiation i don't have anything to do with those virgin nun made communion wafers. i do not use religion as a magician- as in male dominated belief systems where the practicioners think that through repetition of formula they can control the universe and other people. harming other people or attempting to manipulate and control them is forbidden and i try to avoid it . i have no desire to see most people ' sky clad' and i refuse to go into the woods with hippies unless equipped with a gun and a permit to hunt them.
i do worship a female deity who is truly unto herself. she created everything out of nothing with the aid of no one. maleness is simply an aspect of her being although she is not a hermaphrodite. what she took from nothing she can return to nothing and there's not one thing al gore can do about it. she has flooded the whole earth several times over- melting ice caps, wiping out dinosaurs and humanity. it has many times before. it will happen again. it is arrogance for humans to think they can control her. this does not mean abusing her is an option.
although christians seem to think they created morality( snort! the people who burnt joan of arc at the stake for, literally, wearing men's clothing....) i consider myself a moral person not because of a threat of hell and torture but because it's her will. and that's all. i don't need gifts or threats or fear to be a good person. i don't need heaven or virgins or milk and honey. i don't need to condemn other people to a hell because of their gender or sexuality or the swear words they opt to use so i can parade myself about as ' moral' and upright and a good person. i do not cheat, take other people's stuff or behave cruelly toward anyone or anything. i take in cats no one else will adopt, get downright vicious and hysterical about sex crimes, the murder of the innocent, the genocides perpetrated against people because of their gender/ sexual orientation/ ethnicity/religion. nothing horrifies me more than abuse and harm done to the weaker by the stronger.
objects, persons and creatures in our western society are demonized and treated accordingly in compliance with how much they are associated in our primeval minds with the goddess. it is from this disobedience,rebellion and blood thirst that all evil flows. male god oriented religions are the main engine driving all this hell on earth. nothing is more proof of this than islam.
"... I foresee no change for the better until everything gets far worse. Only after a period of complete political and religious disorganization can the suppressed desire of the western races, which is for some practical form of Goddess worship, with her love not limited to maternal benevolence and her after world not deprived of a sea, find satisfaction at last..."- "the white goddess", robert graves.
i came to these beliefs through revelation, a dream that changed my entire world, a dream i have not yet awoken from. it just sat in my lap.
and although most feel that pagans do this (We don't. these are fucking christian carnies gone wild):
this is really what we're all about :